What are you going to wear?

EUGH! The number of times I have been asked what I or my other half are going to wear to our wedding – it’s more than the number of times we have been asked when IS the wedding going to take place? Or.. what was the proposal like? Are you actually in love??  Y’know – important stuff like that. What is the obsession with the outfits?

Both myself and my fiancé have grown up with the classic lesbian ‘I hate dresses’ vibe. I wear them if I feel like I have to but on my own wedding day, I’d really like to feel comfortable in my own clothes. We have therefore opted to not wear dresses but perhaps to go for a chino and brogue and nice top/shirt situation. Thing is, we aren’t sure yet and we have just under 18 months to plan!

It did get me thinking about what this obsession is really all about? Perhaps it is intrigue!  Those who know me well know that a big white dress is highly unlikely so maybe they are just curious as to what route I will take. I think others are just generally confused by the whole concept of gay weddings. Not just the dresses but the whole day. How do you decide which surname to take? Do you have a first dance? Will there be vows?

It’s also human nature I guess. If we step out of the 21st Century for one tiny cotton-picking minute, we will think back to weddings with serious traditions. We all get tummy excitement about how ‘utterly beautiful’ the Bride will look and how ‘dashing’ the Groom will be and eveyone cries with joy and hyperventilates about how wonderful everyone is etc etc. My Mum is seriously clinging on to this thought. She has already asked me ‘Will whatever you wear be, at least, all white?’. She has also tried to factor in some serious logistics about how we will arrive at the venue without anyone seeing us so we can make our grand entance in to the ceremony and everyone can turn to be totally blown away by our jaw-dropping beauty and grace! Unfortunately for Mother dearest, I don’t think she has bargained on everyone turning around to see us in our shirts and converse..

Our day will be modern, non-traditional and a chance for a good old celebration with friends who are there to watch us get hitched. Perfect! Does it matter if we wear all white dresses or if my hair is half-up, half-down with flowers in (ha – another of Mother’s suggestions)? It shouldn’t do. That’s what I say.

So I hope future questions received about our big day will be ‘are you excited to be declaring your unconditional love to each other forever more?’ … or something a bit less weird but you get my flow!

I welcome your own comments, thoughts or experiences around this. Please comment below! 🙂

Howd’ya do?

This is a blog and life and love and everything between! I don’t want it to be all about me, however, I am going to begin by mentioning the fact that I am now 28 years old, engaged and very happy and settled in my little gay Brighton life but this isn’t a self – indulgent space for me to brag about it, k?

We all know that life can throw it’s bloomin great challenges at us and this is particularly true for the LGBT community. Whether you are coming to terms with your sexuality, unsure of it, scared of it, loving it, tolerating it… the list goes on. Times can be hard, man! I’ve been there. It took me six, yes SIX years to finally admit to myself that I am gay, let alone anybody else in my life. I gave myself any excuse I could think of. For example, “I don’t want to be alone with that boy because I’m shy!” or “I am fascinated by that girl because she is cool and I want to be just like her”. One of my most vivid memories is lying in bed one night and promising myself that if I really am gay, I will never tell a soul and I will force myself to be with a man forever more. Ha!

What was I thinking?! Being gay is brilliant and more so, being who you really are is essential! It’s taken me some time to come to terms with all that. I’ve had multiple relationships, therapies and long long looong conversations with friends but it’s true.

So I’m here to discuss the wonderful things about queer life. This doesn’t mean ignoring the bad but it means supporting those who are struggling by bringing out the humour and positivity in it all. It’s never as bad as it seems and all will be OK.

Come back soon for more on my past, present and future observations and for some sarcastic commentary on life events. They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit – so why is it the funniest?